Top tips to handle high-conflict personalities in the workplace

Employees who are prone to conflict can be disruptive to the rest of your workplace. But when managed correctly, this personality type can be complimentary to other personalities and diversity in your team, thereby enhancing your business. Here, we explore how to manage high-conflict personalities and leverage their strengths to make the entire team more cohesive.

What is a high-conflict personality?

When you think about high-conflict individuals, it’s natural to assume they will generally increase the conflict in certain situations – particularly in the workplace – rather than attempt to diffuse it. After all, the main problem during a conflict is often how an individual reacts to the issue, rather than what the problem is about in the first place.

Some of the most common symptoms of a high-conflict personality are their all-or-nothing thinking – in other words, they fail to take a breath or step back and analyse the situation. They are also more prone to unmanaged emotions, and can fly into a rage of yelling and disrespect with little to no reasonable cause to do so. High-conflict personalities also tend to blame others rather than reflect on their own contribution to the situation, and their extreme behaviours can cause shock and even fear in their co-workers. This behaviour is not ok in the modern workplace. The key is addressing the poor behaviour in a way that allows the person’s strengths to come to the front and be applied in a collegiate way.

While it is can certainly true that high-conflict personalities can be more trouble than they are worth in the workplace – especially if they are causing your staff distress, or even resulting in people leaving the company – when managed correctly these personalities can actually bring a lot of value to the table. Diversity is so important to business performance. 

The trick is knowing how to spot them, and then how to deploy the right strategy to rein in the more negative traits of their personality.

How to spot them: Words, emotions and behaviour

As a leader in your business, you want to protect every member of your team – and that includes protecting them from their co-workers, if necessary. So rather than wait for someone to make a complaint or, worse, leave the company over a poor interaction, it’s important that you can recognise the signs of a high-conflict personality.

·       Words: This is the easiest way to spot them – what is the person saying? Are they speaking in extremes and absolutes? Is it always their way or the highway? Do they refuse to accept responsibility and constantly shift the blame to others?

·       Emotions: How do you feel whenever you are around this person? If you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells even as their boss, then how do you think their co-workers will feel when interacting with them? Be mindful not only of the individual in question’s emotional outbursts, but also how other people react to them.

·       Behaviour: Extreme behaviour can manifest in a multitude of ways, and no two high-conflict personalities will be the same. If there are repeated instances of poor behaviour and they are constantly blaming it on being tired or stressed or overworked, then that pattern should be a warning sign of even more conflicts to come.

Managing these personalities with the BIFF strategy

Bill Eddy, who co-founded the High Conflict Institute and developed the High Conflict Personality Theory has a developed a strategy for successfully communicating with these personality types. When deployed correctly, it can not only reduce the stress levels of your entire workforce, but it can mould the high-conflict personality to use their strong behaviours for positive interactions rather than negative ones.

Here's a quick rundown of how the BIFF system works:

·       Brief: When a high-conflict personality is mid-argument – or in a similar scenario – then brief direction from leadership is all that is warranted. A quick two to five sentences of information will suffice.

·       Informative: Within those sentences, make sure there is no ‘fluff’. Be clear, concise and focus on the facts only.

·       Friendly: Use a friendly tone don’t but don’t sugar-coat the truth either. You want to be firm but fair.

·       Firm: End the conversation concisely. If you need a response from them, offer two or three options for them to choose from and then resolve the matter.

For example, “I understand that you are frustrated with the current workspace arrangement. As a team, we rely on your expertise to help the business succeed. That means I need you to focus your strengths on what’s important day-to-day, and I will work to rectify the situation as best I can. The matter is now closed.”

Running a business can be challenging at the best of times – but even more when you are trying to deal with conflicting personalities. At Flying Change, we are experts in conflict resolution and will work to understand your needs to provide the most appropriate business advice. Call 0418 676 977 to speak to the experts and find out how to leverage your team’s personality strengths.